I am a strong believer in the age-old saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Specifically, I could enthuse for hours—and probably cumulatively have—on the curative and culinary powers of a large bowl of porridge. Porridge made with milk and all the toppings: berries and bananas, creamy yogurt, a scattering of mixed seeds for fiber and cinnamon for flavor, perhaps a handful of rich walnuts and a swirl of almond or peanut butter. I start every day this way and go to bed looking forward to my next bowl, already soaking overnight in the fridge to be eaten cold or zapped in the microwave. A weekend breakfast is a chance to simmer it on the hob, stirring slowly with a traditional wooden spurtle, or perhaps to chef up oat-based pancakes or muffins.
Yes, my culinary life is so oat-centric to be considered just a little sad, but I’m not alone. Market research carried out in 2022 found that 39% of Gen Zs consume porridge for breakfast and 33% choose cold overnight oats, a move made in pursuit of health. Oats, from baked to blended, have become something of a food fad. Even my father’s beloved Bircher muesli, once a breakfast for cranks and the Swiss, has experienced an Insta-worthy upgrade. On social media and in the health pages of newspapers, experts extol the health benefits of the humble oat—it lowers cholesterol, increases feelings of satiety, and provides vital nutrients, protein, and dietary fiber. Concurrently, oats have been subject to a Goldilocks-level of scrutiny, with concerns around unsafe levels of the pesticide glyphosate in oatmeal and unsubstantiated claims about oats causing blood sugar spikes and the catch-all wellness bogeyman “inflammation.”

This mixed assessment isn’t new. People have always been skeptical about the virtues of oats. Samuel Johnson defined oat as “a grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.” Johnson’s verdict is assumed to be born of 18th-century xenophobia and personal animosity toward Scotland, which he once branded a “vile country.” In 1755, when Johnson completed his Dictionary, England was reeling from the Jacobite Risings, a series of revolts that sought to restore the Catholic descendants of the deposed Stuart King James II to the throne. The 1707 Act of Union joining the two nations was—even a half century on—still an uncomfortable alliance.
Britain spent the century embroiled in a series of global conflicts, including the War of Spanish Succession, Seven Years’ War, and American and French revolutionary wars. In this context, stereotypes about food and eating behaviors served to consolidate national identity and set it against foreign “others.” The English, personified in the red-blooded figure of John Bull, ate hearty roast beef and quaffed tankards of ale. By contrast, the French, with whom the English were at war for much of this period, were more likely to be found slurping watery soup, sloppy ragout, and worse: frogs. Scottish diet was often invoked in anti-Jacobite attacks, with haggis—a dish made of offal and oatmeal—a particular target. Diet also played a polemical role in tying old Scottish stereotypes to the cannibal folk character Sawney Bean. Patriotic Scottish poet Robert Burns responded to such attacks by embracing haggis, oatcakes, and porridge in his work; in “The Cotter’s Saturday Night” (1786), it is “the halesome parritch, chief of Scotia’s food” that a loving family of laborers enjoys for supper.
Yet Johnson’s caustic definition of oats had a far older and more illustrious precedent, one rarely recognized by his modern editors. Second-century Roman physician Galen, whose ideas about health and the body would influence European thought for centuries, regarded oats with suspicion. In On the Properties of Foods, Galen called them “a food for animals, not humans, unless the exigencies of famine at any time necessitate it being made into bread.” Galen, of course, was writing at the heart of the Mediterranean world rather than dreary Britain. If I woke up to uninterrupted sunshine and an azure sea, I’d probably opt for something other than porridge too. Yet Galen’s assessment wasn’t based simply on a lack of familiarity but on contemporary understandings of the body and its digestive faculties, particularly the system of humorism he did much to refine.






